“Sounds like something a Muppet would sing,” I said out loud to my empty tiny office. “I can’t believe that’s Michael W. Smith. That really really sucks.”
After getting a degree in music composition I moved to Nashville in 1993 with my new bride to begin work as an unpaid intern at what is now Brentwood-Benson Music Publishing. My dream was to write songs for other people for a living. My job though was running a cassette duplicating machine, typing and filing lyrics, and other not-songwriting-related stuff.
But on my lunch breaks I would listen to tapes full of old demos from Christian music’s biggest writers. The first one I perused was ”Michael W. Smith DAT #1”.
Before he was Amy Grant’s keyboard player Michael wrote songs for Brentwood-Benson (when it was called the John T. Benson Publishing Company) and I got to jump in a time machine with a sandwich in my hand and hear what kind of stuff he wrote at my age – in his early twenties.
It turned out to be awful. And hearing it was the biggest boost to my writing I’ve ever received. If Michael W. Smith the Grammy winner and radio star stunk as badly at my age as I do then there’s hope for me, I thought.
Now, I’m not Michael. Not even close. But, some folks come here because they like what I do anyway. And some of them are writers who, like me just after arriving in Nashville, think they’re no good. And maybe you aren’t. I don’t know. But maybe you’re just starting. And no one – NO ONE – sounds good when they’re just starting.
So, as much as I hate doing this to myself, I’m going to play you some music from MY early years. I hope you laugh. Because it’s awful. And I hope after you laugh you sit down and write, encouraged that in time, with enough practice, almost anyone will improve.
First up, a little song I wrote called “Children Pray” when I was nineteen, the Summer of 1993, just after a mission trip to Mexico. It’s awful for a few reasons, mainly because it’s a knock-off of “Thank You” by Ray Boltz as if played by Michael W. Smith. We only had very bad outdated Christian radio in my hometown. So this is what I thought I had to write if I was a Christian.
Enjoy….it’ll be hard for you, impossible for me.
(RSS subscribers, there’s audio embedded in this post. Click on over and listen.)
I’m not sure that the audio uploaded properly. All I got was the sound of nails on a chalkboard. JK…I understand what you are saying about reflecting on where you started. I do that from time to time as well. Looking at past projects and getting all embaressed like “I did that?” Ugh!
Shaun, imagine ten or fifteen years from now, looking back on your work early as a recognized artist, and the work you did before getting that first record deal. I imagine it will be quite like being a best selling author.
I like to write stories in my spare time, for fun not profit, and I’ll be honest, I know for a fact that though i wish some of my oldest stories were preserved in some fashion, I’d have probably shredded them by now. Let’s face it part of being human is growing. We all had to struggle and stumble over many things in our lives. Looking back on where I was ten or even fifteen years ago, I can’t believe how much God has blessed and nurtured me over the years, and in my prose I know my craft has improved over what I once wrote back in College or High School. So I totally understand where you are coming from (and I’m not even 30, yet
)
When I was writing my Master’s thesis, I thought to myself “what a piece of work – I can’t get any better than this”.
Now, I look back at it and shake my head in shame. Both at the sorry writing skills and at my aplomb, which had no basis in reality.
Hey, at least we can say we’ve improved over the years, right?
That was hilarious! But not as bad as you may think…
My dad is still stuck on stuff I wrote with a friend years ago…which tells me I need to play my new stuff for him soon.
It makes me laugh because, even though I think those songs leave something to be desired, he still loves them. I’m playing a show tomorrow night, and my parents will be in town, so that may help open dear old dad’s eyes to where I am now as a songwriter.
And in response to euphrony…I know just what you mean! I looked back at my senior project (just over a year ago) and I shudder at the quality. I’m not sure how or why I got a B (thank God), but it’s good to appreciate the journey.
It seems like so many things tell me to keep trying to write music..
I read this thing all the time, and this is my first time commenting…Wait…Hang on…Mark Schultz is on the phone. Let me see what he wants…Oh, he wants his song back.
=) That was sweet. And WHAT an encouragement…you see, one of your songs is quite literally my life song. I hadn’t listened to it in a LONG time. It was way down in my CD cabinet….but since I start reading your blog, I pulled it out, played it and sat in tears. Amazing how one song can stay so close to ones heart. You may not think you are a MWS, but God has a great plan for you and has given you your own gifts. Thanks for being faithful to that.
So… is it bad that I really liked that for the most part… like after listening to it a few times I’d probably have it down pretty good and be singing it during softball practice.
I’m glad anon said that. I was thinking the same thing. Maybe it’s not as “relevant” as what is on the radio right now…..but that’s completely subjective isn’t it?
There is a tug on me to play more drums…if could write, I would, but it’s not my gift. I’m a drummer…I beat on things with sticks. If anyone needs a good one….send me a (oh, I heard a clam, shaun)
Thanks for this post….I love reading and you usually have a pretty cool perspective……thanks, again….God Bless…W
Seriously. I didn’t love that song, but if you’re gonna make me feel better about the stuff I write, you’re gonna have to do a lot worse than that…
Oh, I will, Katherine. It’s about to get ugly.
Shaun,
Because I love your music…I really enjoyed hearing “Children Pray.” I can just picture you at age 19 singing it…so cute!
For me, if you really like an artist (visual or performing artist)…usually, you have connected with them at a “heart” level. So, to hear the “old stuff”…before the craft was perfected…it is still enjoyable.
I think it is because at that point one is looking through the wide lens of a telescope back into the narrow lens of when the artist first started…with the knowledge of how they ended up. Maybe if I heard it for the first time…not knowing you now…I would be more critical.
Thanks for sharing…and I am sure MWS is happy to know that you thought he “sucked” back then…lol…
He thinks he sucked back then too.
I know…I was just kidding you.
Oh, did you hear that Connersville was hit with high winds/tornado-like winds on Tuesday night?
And central Indiana is getting ready for a winter storm…8 inches of snow.
Hope you are in a warm place now.
You’re right Shaun. It did make me laugh! But even that is better than what I’m able to do right now.
I love your blog. I know I’m missing you, but I have to admit…I’ve never heard your music.
/ducks & runs
Aaaah, I think it’s sweet! It’s not too bad. I have some songs I wrote in the 80’s that I wouldn’t let anyone hear now. I can’t even listen to them.
Could be worse, bro.
I gave up trying to write music after all my songs sounded like Big Tent Revival’s “Two Sets of Joneses” mixed with Handon’s “Mmbop”….on crack.
I was bad…way bad!
so I’ve moved on to something less harmful to others.
Aaron
i though that track was on the We are the World record? serious tho, iv never written a song so im hardly qualified to comment BUt i can assure you that i have worse stuff for sale in the shop………but you know that shaun right?
I think anybody who works in a creative field goes through that looking back at older work. I think there is a few things to remember though when artists look back at the past. Few things are timeless. Even the masters tend to only put out a few “timeless” pieces over the course of a career. What sounds/looks/reads terrible today may just be out of style (when it was released it may have been great).
The other thing is that alot of times we spend so much time with our work that we get burned out on it. I think about half of my work isn’t that great by the time I’m done with it but others love it. I’ve learned it’s just a result of me seeing it constantly and always striving for better.
I can also picture you at 19 singing that song with your glasses on, the ponytail all nice and tight, and your “Dan Quayle For President” t shirt on.
the ending kinda got painful to listen to. so i ended my misery by “x-ing” the page. but it’s not THAT bad. believe me, a lot of people could do worse. (me for example).
Brian, do you have pics of that “Dan Quayle For President” t shirt? Because, ya know, that sounds like prime blackmail material.
I could barely find the keyboard for all the tears welling up in my eyes. You figure out what kind of tears I mean.
“Still they PRAAAAAYYYY…”
I for one am glad you’re not MWS.
I am not going to kiss up to you. I burst out laughing on the second word. I couldn’t make it through the whole song. I was hee hawing too bad.
My mom agrees with me
She thinks it would be a good song to sing in church 
Hey Shaun,
I’m curious. Did you ever work on songs in your music composition studio in college? If so, how did that play into your songwriting development?
I know we had concluded at one time that you and I had different music composition professors at Baylor. (You said you had some old guy). But mine was keen on hearing and critiquing our songs as well as our symphonies.
just wondering…
It’s always reassuring to discover that even those who have mastered their art weren’t born with that level of amazitude, but instead model for us a path of discipline and growth.
With their example, what we originally saw as an impassible cliff of sheer talent, is revealed as a life-long climb into ever increasing excellence.
Did you just slam the Muppets?
I guess you sensitive-musician-”usin both halves of your brain”-types have to pick the battles you think you can win.
I’ll bet the Dan Quayle shirt is right next to the “Alfred E. Neuman For Pres.” shirt in the closet. Har! Har!
Here’s the funny thing.
I listened to the song, was amused but also slightly charmed, then went back to grading papers. Guess what’s bouncing around my head? “God is good and God isss great…” I dare say your song is catchy!
I’ve wondered before what it is that makes a song catchy. My daughter wrote a song for school with the sort of sweet lyrics you might expect from a 5th grader or an 80’s Christian music star—“I can make a difference, and the world will never be the same”—and it got stuck in my head for a full week. Maddening!