You know that girl who broke up with you in high school because she “prayed about it” and “God” told her to? I wrote bad things about her on the bathroom wall.
I don’t hear God speak to me audibly. But I hear people who say the kind of crazy stuff I think God would say. Like “I think you need to stop blogging for a while.”
I met with a friend/counselor/mentor of mine this morning. I just showed up at her job to say “Hey, how’ve you been? I’ve missed you.” And she didn’t let me off so easy.
A couple hours later I was vomiting up all kinds of stuff I’m praying about, thinking about, worried about, excited about, beating myself up about. And she closed her eyes for a second, as if on the other line with the Big Man himself, and then, confidently told me I should stop blogging for a while.
I never mentioned this here blog to her. It has nothing to do with anything we talked about. So, ordinarily I’d think this bit of random advise was an adverse side effect of her menopause and ignore her. But, the weird thing is, yesterday, while I was in the shower thinking and praying through some of this same stuff, I had the same out of left field idea: Maybe I should take a break from blogging.
So, I don’t know exactly why, but somehow spending time and words and brain space on this blog every day, a few times a day, is something I’m gonna stop doing for a little while – let’s say until 2008 – just in case there’s something bigger than hot flashes and early morning drowsiness behind all this. And then we’ll see what happens after that.
And, this friend suggested I ask you to pray for me. Not because there’s some big dramatic mess I’m off working through – because there isn’t – but because we all need to feel needed sometimes. And I need you. I need you to pray for a quiet mind, confidence, renewed creativity, that I pray and learn and grow and relax and have fun, that I father and husband and friend well, that I am at peace – completely whole – and that God speaks and I hear Him clearly and that I can stay away from this blog and a few other commitments without feeling like someone’s world is going to cave in because I’m not there holding it together.