The third chapter of my book is called Spilled Milk. It’s all about the second beatitude: Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” I’ve really struggled with this chapter, mostly with how to begin, but I think I made progress today:
I was there when she came out with her mother’s eyes and my nose. Beautiful.
She was all swollen with deep creases at her joints and lots of places in between, segmented rolls of beautiful, looking more like a bundle of sausages in a diaper than a body and head, arms and legs. Beautiful dimpled knees crawled after the cats. Beautiful ruby lips cooed from the crib. Beautiful puffy fingers wrapped around my pinky.
Eventually, they played patty cake. Then they held crayons. They steered a tricycle across the street. Then they painted my finger nails and dug for doodle bugs. Beautiful.
And then they spilled a glass of milk one morning at breakfast. And everything changed.
She was three. I remember it well, from toaster to tears. I was cutting a freshly warmed waffled into choke-proof squares on the kitchen counter. Gabriella was coloring at the table, patiently waiting for breakfast as the sun slowly rose through the hackberry trees out back and threw shadows and light onto her picture.
We think she must have scooted in her chair to get out of the sun’s rays – we’re not sure – but milk was spilled.
“Dammit!” she yelled and collapsed into a tearful tantrum.
I laughed while Becky began interrogating and consoling Gabriella simultaneously. “You’re OK, Sweety. I’ll get you some more milk… Where’d you hear that word? Do you remember? Did -”
“You really need to watch your mouth around the kids,” I joked. “I know you get ticked off in traffic but…for the children, Becky.”
Even beauty is busted. I know this. But why cry over spilled milk?
Then I move on to answer that question.
I doubt I’ll be allowed to keep the word “Dammit” in there. Shame, really. What better way to argue for greater shock at the sight and sound of depravity than to create shock with depravity? At least that’s how my depraved brain is working today.
The book, by the way, is slated to release August 2008.
Last year my daughter was supposed to bring something to show and tell that started with the letter f. As she was thinking of things she’ just started making up words and she eventually, and much to our dismay, happened upon a word that rhymed with duck.
We snickered. She noticed. And repeated. We finally contained our laughter. It hasn’t been said since.
Whew.
August 2008? Cool.
looking forward to the book!
and lord of the flies – one of my favorite books and movies!
Great Opener for a chapter. It caught my attention right away, and reminded me of our daughters birth, and all that is in between to the closing of her first year. Our 11 month old girl just had ear tubes put in this morning; a drop of milk in the gallon of life that will be spilled, none the less, in the “now” seems like the whole jug was spilling as she cried on the ride home.
Our daughter, when she was two, would always tell us in a very stern voice to “go check your pewter”. We wondered over this and what she meant for weeks (did she hear this from someone? is it an insult? what does she mean?). One day it finally occurred to us that she meant “go check your computer”. Ah. But what child hasn’t found a few words by accident?
Gabriella made it all the way to three? Alex let that “wonderful word” fly for the first time right before his second birthday! After accidentally dropping an egg on the chair a few days after my mother’s funeral. My very prim and proper Aunt was present and immediately launched into a lecture on child-rearing. He’s almost 18 now and it’s managed to slip a few more times, but all in all, it’s not part of his vocabulary, thank God.
Beth
looking forward to the book.
Nice work buddy.
Good stuff!… You gotta fight for dammit. Maybe even dam*it. It gives your prose the stinger. I didn’t find it offensive or too much. But then again, I am a Texas heathen.
BTW, Appreciated your honesty on that podcast with Brant. Me thinks they is a WHOOOOOLE lot of guys with the exact same story. Ahem…
You’re a good man for saying so.
Cheers.
What is DSLR? (something tells me it’s a dumb question:D)
Where I can see preview of this book?
Well you caught my eye. Why cry over spilled milk? Why do we? Unwilling to look ______ ?
You asked for a comment before I check in and just leave. Well, I like the way you want to deal with depravity cause that’s where we all live. I had milk and oatmeal thrown in disgust on my 3-year-old head at my childhood breakfasts. I had a reason to cry over spilled milk.
Keep on dealing with depravity and with redemption—we have been delivered from a domain of darkness but…
Keep it…your right, the contrast between beauty and depravity its all there….and the innocent mouth that expressed it, even in that moment there is beauty because the authenticity of expression is priceless.
Our son almost drowned when he was two,and he was barely talking but he walked up to his dad, took a stick in hand, and pointed it at his head and in a moment of pure rage…..this beautiful innocent toe headed little boy dropped an f-bomb heard around the world…..I died a thousand deaths at that moment, and so did my husband. But the contrast was there, and it was the beauty in my childs face uttering that word that made me want laugh and cry simultaneously.
Keep it….
Great post, just found your blog, have it added to my reader now… thanks.
great info buddy..
i have bookmarked your site..
thank you.
glyco
Spilled Milk is great! Made me smile and took my mind off work for a little while. Thanks man!
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.this beautiful innocent toe headed little boy dropped an f-bomb heard around the world…..I died a thousand deaths at that moment, and so did my husband. But the contrast was there, and it was the beauty in my childs face uttering that word that made me want laugh and cry simultaneously.
Keep it….
What happened with the book?
Hola Shaun!!
Soy Guatemalteca, hasta ahora que tengo acceso al internet pude encontrarme con su pagina y su musica.
Aunque desde ya hace unos años conocia su musica especialmente la primer cancion que escuche y me encanto es “Welcome Home”. Aca en Guatemala es dificil encontrar musica Gospel para adquirir un CD. y he tratado de bajar musica por internet suya pero me ha sido casi imposible.
Solo queria saludarlo y desearle bendiciones en este fin de año y muchas mas para el proximo año 2,009.
God Bless you, your fan Nancy A.
That’s interesting. According to you, the post has been released, but from where to find the book?
Good stuff!… You gotta fight for dammit. Maybe even dam*it. It gives your prose the stinger. I didn’t find it offensive or too much. But then again, I am a Texas heathen.
BTW, Appreciated your honesty on that podcast with Brant. Me thinks they is a WHOOOOOLE lot of guys with the exact same story. Ahem…
You’re a good man for saying so.
Greets Pension Bayerischer Wald
Yeah, you do have to be careful around kids. They pick up so fast when they are young. It is amazing to me: even when infants can’t talk, they can understand & you hear it later. It does sound shocking!
~ http://www.shaungroves.com/words/comments/spilled_milk/
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