I have Authorexia. It’s a disorder apparently.
It’s a disorder because I spend more than three hours a day thinking about this book I’m writing. I actually plan when I’ll sit down and write. I put it on a calendar and everything. And the quality of what I write matters more to me than how much I enjoy writing it. And the more I work on this book the less time I have for more enjoyable pursuits…like sitting around, or reading books, or talking to my wife or having sex with her.
Oh yea, I also have Sexorexia. I sometimes plan when I’d like to have sex with my wife and I probably think about sex with my wife at least three hours out of every twenty-four…or pretty close to it. I’m sick. I know I am. I get an ego boost when this beautiful intelligent woman thinks it’s a good idea to have sex with me. It also makes me feel happy and if I didn’t have sex with my wife for too long, well, I confess I’d feel something resembling not happy. I like sex with my wife and my wife so much that I’ve given up sex with other women and the pleasure those women could give me in order to have sex with my wife. I’d just feel guilty if I didn’t.
There it is. I have numerous orexias. Do you still love me? My publisher and my wife do.
Ok. That made me laugh out loud. Mad em dog sitting beside me look at me wierd and my kids want to know “what is so funny.”
The line that got me…
“I like sex with my wife and my wife so much that I’ve given up sex with other women and the pleasure those women could give me in order to have sex with my wife.”
So i heard you were writing a book and came here to tell you that I am looking forward to it when, much to my hilarity, you had this as your most recent blog. Here I am minding my own business, thinking “the quality of what I write matters more to me than how much I enjoy writing it” perfectly describes the bane of my existance, when…*BAM…I will never be able to look at Shaun the same way again. You are the funny on you are.
Hey Shaun;
I love this, “I like sex with my wife and my wife so much that I’ve given up sex with other women and the pleasure those women could give me in order to have sex with my wife. I’d just feel guilty if I didn’t.” Couldn’t have said it better!! I laughed so loud my wife had to run into the room…
Blessings;
Justin
hey, shaun! met you tonight and told you i get your sense of humor. even if no one else laughed, i did. i swear.
and i’ll say once again….you’re not sexorexic. you’re just a male.
Hilarious! Thanks for typing it out!
I’m sure my husband feels the same way. (Happily, I also feel that way about him! And also, the book I’m writing.
)