I was recently booked to play in my least favorite place: Nashville.
I don’t dislike the city or the people. I just dislike playing music for them. Too many wannabe singers and song writers and industry stiffs standing with arms folded, grimaced faces with “I could do that better” written all over them.
To counter this I’m inviting you – people I like – to come see me play. The show was just booked a few days ago so there’s no time for the usual promotion, so please pass the word around if you have a blog or the e-mail addresses of a few Nashvillians. Thanks in advance. Here are the details:
Dude, I’d be there if I wasn’t on the road. SNAP!
(did I just do that?)
Oh, and for the record, Nashville IS my favorite place to play. For two reasons:
1. I’ll sleep in my own bed that night.
2. I can get a great band without having to pay anybody.
So what you’re saying is
1. You’re lazy.
2. You’re cheap.
Seriously, you can actually play very very well. This is a horrid town to play in if you’re a strummer. Nashvillians don’t care at all that I got signed not on account of my guitar playing but on account of my striking good looks and obvious charisma.
Nashville, Snashville.
Just do what you love to do. That’s enough.
Sure, Fancy Pants. What do YOU do for a living? Imagine someone inviting you to attend their meeting. You assume they want to hear what you have to say, need your expertise for some reason, or just plain like to have you around. But much to your dismay, instead of looking pleased to see you they sit and scowl or, worse, show no expression whatsoever.
Of course you do your job and do it the very best you can, but you can’t help leaving the meeting a bit confused. Why did they bring me here only to be so cold?
Same question I have in Nashville – and nowhere else. Why did you come here, pay money (though this show is free) and choose to spend over an hour of your life listening to me only to sit here in your trendy jeans and scowl at me?
All joking aside, Fancy Pants, I appreciate the encouragement and I’m not really all that bothered by Nashville. I’m grateful to be playing anywhere in fact and I’m sure I’ll have a good time. Just don’t show up planning to cross your arms thinking I won’t stop and mock you publicly. I will. I’ve seen me do it.
I’ll go and I won’t even fold my arms.
Thanks mighty nice of you, Brody.
I can’t afford to pay everyone else to do the same, Brody.
If I go…can I fold my legs?
You should pass the guitar to one of the scowlers and tell them to give it a go. Or you could start sing/praying in the middle of a tune “dear Lord, please heal the guy in the the second row wearing the blue shirt with his arms folded of his cramps or help him to stop wishing he was me…”
veri-word is “nuclear36”
In Texas we spell that nucular.
I wish I could come (it’s own my own dang campus) but I’ll probably be out to dinner for my roommates’ birthday.
Leg folding is cool. Paper folding is cool. Ben folding is also fine. Bill folding as well. Just no arm folding WITH grimacing, scowling, yawning WHILE wearing black and possessing musical talent or a label job.
Would love to be there, but I’ll be at Mafiozas celebrating my birthday!
Hey there Shaun…I bet you could talk Brody into clapping, stomping his foot, and maybe even a whistle or two (just use your “powers” over young him!$!)…I would if it was me! Ha…do have fun in Nashville…and as Mr. Osenga pointed out, enjoy your own bed.
Sorry Brody!
I’ll be there! and bringing my wife and hopefully two other couples (if they don’t bum out on us). So…we will do our best to not fold arms and scowl and not be happy with a free show. Did I hear there was going to be a Texas Hold ‘Em game afterwards? I think that’s the rumor.
I feel you, Shaun. I TOTALLY hated playing Nashville. Played the TPAC, the War Memorial (is that the name of the place?)…and you have the audience nailed. They would always stand there staring like “Okay circus boy, impress me”. Even the people from OUR RECORD COMPANY would do it. Yuck.
You know man, i’m not a nashvillian, but i live here for the time being, and i actually agree with your reasons why you don’t want to play here, i hope to take my own music to a different music city after school.
but if you’re gonna bash a town, you could try having a little class about it
I agree with T. I am not from nashville either. We’ve had our fair share of shows with people sitting there arms crossed and everything. It sucks, ok, yeah we all know that. If you dont like playing in nashville, dont publicize that you hate playing here. You’ll get even less of a crowd or more “arm crossers.” Be thankful that you are touring, not everybody can be a superstar. Have some class.
I think being honest shows a lot of class.
So if I just wear black, fold my arms and yawn, I’m fine? As long as I don’t grimace or scowl?
Sounds good. See you tonight.
Hi there. My name is Frances, I live in Franklin, N.C. I am a long distance student at Belmont. I only come every 3rd weekend and I was very happy when I checked the Belmont site this morning to see that you are playing there tonight. My husband , Victor, always comes to Nashville with me so we will be there tonight and are looking forward to it.
So… “T” and “BW”… will we be seeing you tonight then?
I’m amazed at how not well sarcasm translates in the blogosphere.
Folding my arms and pooting at your pour… I mean pouting at your poor sarcasm. In fact, I think I’ll go put on my black shirt and move to Nashville.
It’s OK Shaun. I completely understand your sarcasm. That should actually worry me, that our minds work alike, but it doesn’t. Yes it does, no it doesn’t. I’ll get back to you on that.
Beth
Ha, sarcasm and even nice statements can go over the wrong way if worded poorly. I have to say that my favorite part of one of those comments was, “not everyone can be a superstar”…been fighting off the paparazzi lately, Shaun?
I’m going home to change into all black, and and now planning to fold my arms, scowl, lean against things, and possibly even yawn at strategic moments. Oh and regularly glance at my diamond encrusted wristwatch, which shows well against the black ensemble.
Your mocking scares me not.
Yea, CaliAmy. It’s rough being a superstar. Can’t go anywhere without being recognized. Bodyguards always telling all to the tabloids. Photographers hounding me day and night. Everyone wanting a piece of my millions. It is rough.
AL, I know things you don’t want to be blogged. I’m just saying…
See everyone who has a sense off humor at Belmont tonight. Looking forward to it. Seriously.
Sarcasm only works of the audience is smart enough to get it…. another reason to avois Nashvegas… I mean Nashville.
well that and overpriced guitar strings…
You whine wayyy to much about your Nashville shows. You’re better than what shows on the faces in the crowd. Take it as a compliment that when you see frowny faces that usually means that YOU have the gig, YOU have the microphone, YOU have their time mercilessly clutched within your hands, YOU have their undivided attention! Take time to laugh evilly at the wonderful torment you can bring upon others by having the gig they only wish they could have. MUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Shaun, here’s a link to the Jars interview I mentioned to you tonight:
http://www.argusleader.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070308/COLUMNISTS0106/703080336/
Hope it went well, Shaun.
Looking forward to having you in Dalton GA on June 2…