Shaun Groves
I write best around a theme. Twilight centered around our dual nature (Romans 7) and the struggle of being a Christian and still very very human. White Flag dealt with what a disciple is according to Jesus’ beatitudes (Matthew 5:1-12). That right there is good fodder for some soft rock.
I’ve wondered in which direction to head next, though. I’ve been searching until last night…
Thanks for the inspiration, Brant. Your “Swear, Pickpocket, Poison” t-shirt is now in the early design phase, if you have any suggestions to make.
By the way, David Crowder has a song in this heap? I’m unsure of who to taunt for this. I’ll need to know if the song was written for this product and if it’s Crowder singing or someone else covering one of his tunes – before the taunting can begin. Anybody know?
Brant says:
It’s his actual song, it’s in the game, according to the manual, and so is a song by Starfield (also puzzling) Shawn McDonald (don’t know him) and Audio A, among others.
Maybe for the sequel video game, they can have the good sense to ask Shaun Groves to write “Swear, Pickpocket, Poison” for an opening sequence.
Or they can use that song you wrote for your Backstreet Boys.
Brant says:
Oh—and it’s an already-written song, by the way, from Crowder. I can’t remember which one. The manual’s at home.
Shaun Groves says:
I don’t know where these people did their research but I don’t know a single Christian recording artist personally that I haven’t heard cuss. And, #&*$@, that’s a lot of artists.
And I don’t know a single “pagan” who, as far as I know, possesses the alchemy skills or the desire to poison anybody.
It’s shocking I know, but the fact checkers over in the Left Behind building may not be the best.
Brant says:
Shaun Groves Special Abilities: “Swear, Perform Concert, Explosive Bullets”
Shaun Groves says:
As long as they’re rubber bullets I suppose I can go with that. I may have sworn a few times in my life but I’m still a pacifist. I’m not a total heathen.
Brant says:
Shaun Groves Special Abilities, Level 2:
“Swear, Perform Concert, Explosive Rubber Bullets, Pretty Much Believe Whatever Hauerwas Says”
Shaun Groves says:
Ouch.
Let me recover from that first, but I’ll be back with Level 3: “Swear, Perform Concert, Explosive Rubber Bullets, Sarcasm.” Only to be used in self-defense, of course, but only against Hitler or someone who’s broken into one’s house and actually been caught in the act of attacking one’s wife/grandmother/child in some manner. Only then. But minus 3 spirituality points regardless of the circumstances.
Shaun Groves says:
(You get the feeling you and I are the only two amused by, um, you and I?)
Brant says:
You’ve got Spirituality Points to burn, my friend.
My bit of sarcasm cost me my last point. Da- er, dang it.
Brant abilities: “Swear, Generally be Kind of a Jerk, Typing”
Brant says:
Oh—on the amusing ourselves—definitely.
We’re killing us, here. I decided long ago, for on-air purposes, that it was all about entertaining me, Brant Hansen, so this is working out just fine.
I’m sitting at work, all prepared for tomorrow, but waiting for a Miami Dolphin to get out of the weightroom so I can interview him. My self-esteem is soaring.
Cristy says:
No, really, keep it up guys, I’m reading along and laughing, even if nobody else is.
Shaun Groves says:
Bragger.
Questions I’d ask a Miami Dolphin, in case you need ideas:
1) Multiple choice. Which phylum does the dolphin belong to? A) Chordata, B) Xenophyophora, C) Lycophyta, D) Cheese
2) True or False. Football was invented by Eli Whitney as a use for harvested cotton fields and cheerleaders.
3) What size is your athletic supporter? I’m just curious is all. Stop looking at me like that. I have one I haven’t used since seventh grade so if you needed one…what??
4) What station just made you a winner?
Brody Harper says:
At least there are 4 of us paying attention…
I’m still trying to think if I have Special Abilities, but I’m pretty sure there is one or two… but they suck no doubt.
Shawn Bashor says:
Shaun I feel jipped. According to Brant, I only swear and cooked lasagna, which I didn’t understand what he ment tonight when he came over, but I get it now…by the way stay “positive and encouraging”.
Grovesfan says:
I never fail to be entertained here, even if I don’t understand it all. If this is a secret club, fine. If not, fill me in on all these special abilities, etc. Mine by the way is packing for 6 to leave at 5am after being out of town for two days on business.
Beth
Shaun Groves says:
Beth, all you have to do to understand is read the post of Brant’s I linked to.
All will be revealed.
Glad you’re entertained. Good luck with the packing.
Stephen @ Rebelling Against Indifference says:
Shaun, are you sure that the use of Sarcasm is minus only 3 spirituality points? I’ve been told it’s at least 5…
Shaun Groves says:
In the Bible Belt it is five. But in Florida, where Brant is from, only minus three. See the geographical conversion chart on Focus On The Family’s web site – updated every election year.
Stephen @ Rebelling Against Indifference says:
Okay, that’s where my mistake was. I should have known to first look to Dobson for the answers to all my questions.
Shawn says:
Shaun,
Just wanted to make a correction on your above statement. While Focus on the Family may have given Florida the three points making it a two point spread, this is south Florida, so truely it’s only worth about one and a Half points. We need a little extra help down here.
Shawn
Josh says:
I don’t know how I feel about Shawn’s comment…
Well Shaun G. better get ready for the gutter since he will be in south Florida in only a few weeks
swear.sarcasim. call your parents
would be mine
Josh
Shawn Bashor says:
Josh,
Thank you for pointing out that Shaun’s going to be down this way next month. I had totally spaced checking to see when he would be in the area. They don’t call me Capt. Obvious for nothing…I think I have the swear, sarcasm, and lack of calling parental units right with the cooking lasagna, which by the way only do like every 4-5 years because I am entirely to lazy to do so, I guess tack that card on there, lazy.
Shawn